Word Vomit

Disclaimer: This word vomit is not coherent and does not follow a pattern. I just needed to write it somewhere.

This semester has been a crazy one:

Death.
Heartbreak.
New friends.
Elections.
Spring Break.
Missionary sister.

I have a hard time putting my emotions about this semester into words, but I will look back on Spring 2013 as a life changing, growing and fantastic time. Running for SUUSA with the IMPACT party was one of the most incredible things I've ever done. I loved being able to speak to each and every student that passed by, and I spent so much time with some truly amazing people. I could not have selected better people to run with, and I'm really sad for those who didn't win.

After all the stress of this semester, I was thrilled for a relaxing spring break on the beach with some of my closest friends. I am so fortunate to be able to do things like spend a week in CA. Part way through the trip, I flew to Phoenix to see my sister, Lexi, off on her LDS mission. I am so proud of her and so glad I went. I am so excited to hear of her adventures because her love and enthusiasm for the gospel of Jesus Christ is unmatched.

I find myself very reflective and mindful of things I would do differently if given the chance. If I have the chance to do something differently in an aspect of my life, I should do it. Right? Carpe Diem? Making decisions regarding emotions has never been an easy task for this girl, but it's necessary at some times. I am fearful for what the future holds whether I can act on my instinct or not.

xoxo,

Miss Jones

Also

In response to my post titled "Vulnerable," being vulnerable sucks. 

Okay, that's all.

xox,

Miss Jones

Therapy

Blogs are supposed to be therapeutic, right? Well, after one of the worst weeks ever, I could use some therapy, but I'm trying to spare my wallet and avoid retail. So, here we are.

Don't expect this post to get mopey because I fully intend on staying positive. As the week continued on (slowly, I might add), I came to realize just how loved I am. From the supportive/worried friends to the concerned and loving parents, I feel so blessed to have so many people rooting for me in all aspects of my life. 

So, thanks for the Oreos, smiles, prayers, words of encouragement, faith and patience. I love you, my friends and family. I am definitely learning what it means to keep a prayer of gratitude in your heart. I wouldn't be smiling today if it wasn't for what you did yesterday.

I WILL pull through. No doubt about it. 

In the meantime, here are some instas that have helped me:

This proves to be one of my biggest struggles in life.

You have no idea how grateful I am for this. Fewf.

This is so factual. It's not even funny. I was doing SO well. 

It appears as though there will be some changes occurring in my life, and I can't wait to share them with you, but the time is not yet right.

Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful week.

xox,

Miss Jones

You're morphing.

Something you said made me realize how much you've changed. How much you've grown.
It's good to see you morphing into the person you're supposed to be.
You're doing good things.
I'm happy to see you making decisions for you.
Don't be ashamed.
Continue on.

xoxo,

Miss Jones

One Day

...when it's all said and done, I'm going to look back on these days and:

laugh--I'm going to laugh at all the late night "study" sessions in the library with good friends. I'm going to laugh at the fights, arguments, and time spent feeling aggravated. I see myself laughing at the mundane job I had, and my (sometimes) materialistic tendencies. I'm going to laugh at the love interests that never panned out (heck, they never even started).

smile--I'm going to smile at all the sweet time spent serving others and all the discomfort I felt when I received an act of service. I'm going to smile at the friendships that seemed to spring from nowhere, and other relationships that gracefully danced their way out of my life.

feel blessed--Southern Utah University has filled my life with opportunity, education, and experience. I will leave this incredible place with a Bachelor's and a beefy resume. I will feel blessed and grateful each time I have an interview based on a SUU contact or find other Thunderbirds who have also left this nest.

Although it continues, this chapter of my book of life is bursting at the seams with memories, knowledge, and experiences.

xoxo,

Miss Jones

This one's for the girls:

Okay, not like the country song.

I feel like there are a lot contradictions and expectations that women are expected to live up to. Please realize I understand that there are issues males have to deal with as well, but I am not a male, so I cannot write regarding these issues.

Strength: Women, be strong. Have the house clean, look beautiful, and have dinner on the table when your man gets home, but be careful to not make him feel less manly. Let him open the jar of pickles and use the screwdriver. 

Beauty: Women, use all these beauty products to make yourselves appear as beautiful as possible, but realize that if you go one step too far, you'll be seen as vain.

Money: Women, make enough money to support yourself, and possibly a family, but don't pay for your man or make him feel like less than the sole bread winner. It is also necessary for you to feel embarrassed if you make more than your man, so be shy about your success and lie about your salary.

Dating: Women, do enough eye-batting, touching, and flirting to let him know you're interested, but don't be too forward. Let the man make the first move. 

Independence: Be a strong, independent, self sufficient woman, but don't express your opinions in a robust way as to intimidate the men around you.

Well, I'm calling it. This is B.S.

I've had enough. Women get critiqued for being too independent or strong, but the media encourages it. Does the strong woman exist? Is there such a thing as a strong woman who can work, be successful, and happily in love? I would like to believe that it's not, but I've learned differently lately, and I'm frustrated by it. Things I value about myself and others are seen with such distaste, and I don't get it.

Help a sister out.

xoxo,

Miss Jones

Vulnerable

I allowed myself to be vulnerable.

Now what?